touched/hurt
uh, okay. this is for you. i hope you know.
i'm kinda confused right now. cause my life doesnt seem so simple like how you described it. and how you feel towards me:
No, I don't hate you. At least I don't think so.i'm not really that a bimbo not to understand this. i'm just too confused to get my mind straight. even though you feel this towards me, i just have to tell you this: sometimes i feel blessed because of a friend like you. but sometimes i'm really upset i got to know you in the first place. i have to be honest, since you are so honest with me. i dont appear hurt at all, at all points, do i? but i am hurt. and guess what, i'm hurt most of the time. i cry myself to sleep, almost 5 times a month. thinking of how screwed up my life is. you dont understand, cause you're not me. but i can understand.
Girl, you are the type we call blessed. Someone whose life will never suck. well, my life's current status? SUCKY. and no, i'm not exaggerating. i have a lot of problems. but i'm just too used to keeping it to myself. and oh yeah, my life's like sucky the most of the time. the only time i broke down because of such problems, other than eoys, was right after a very close friend of mine dumped me. i never told them to anyone, but only to tammiann. i really thank you for that, tammiann. you were the last resort, but yet the best one to comfort me. long story, and confidential one too, so sorry people. but yes.
Despite whatever problems you have, you will not be sad for life.well, i do have issues, but i dont think being emo's going to solve things, seriously.
You will not die because "your life sucks so much" ..i did tell you about some attempts to... well, you know. i ddont want to say it. but yes. i'm troubled by issues that you will never be bothered by. and trust me, you dont want to go through them.
Your kind of problems can be solved and they don't bite you even over time.oh, thats what you think. i'm not like.. THIS because of what i am. i'm like this cause of all the problems i've experienced. they leave permanent scars, you know. but you've never seen them. but then again, i doubt you ever will.
I have secrets that I will never forget for my entire life.I nearly made mistakes that cost me way more that I can give.You don't have those. You're lucky.i'm not sure if i can agree with that. because, my friend, i have secrets i will die to protect. i have secrets that are so shameful whenever they are mentioned, tears well up in my eyes and i have heart palpitations. i feel so terrible i start shaking and i have hold something so that i can calm down. i made mistakes that i'm willing to pay any price just to go back time and not do it. any price. lucky. uh-uh. not the word to describe me. i'm cursed with bad luck since the second i was born.
You have a good family with enough money to let you go overseas.i'm not trying to be mean, but who doesnt? i understand some, but well. i'm not a person who stops here. i'm not a person who's satisfied with this. and so, i'm not happy. i understand this sounds all bitchy and all, but sorry.
You get enough freedom to go out with your friends without much fuss.oh, thats not me, i swear. that is really not me. my parents wont condone such behaviour, trust me.
You don't get bothered too much by your parents for your studies, neither are you too bothered yourself. It's obvious.yes i am. i dropped to the second best class, and they started nagging, and compared me to other kids. you know how does that feel? and the fact that i'm a little more hopeful than my older sis and bro, it makes all the diff. my parents feel... disappointed at me. feeling hopeless abt ALL her kids. and i'm the one who caused her to feel that way. you dont have siblings. you dont understand. my parents have such high hopes of me. i just cant bring it up too much. i am very bothered. i'm not some wonderwoman. i cant take everything.
Girl, you cannot call up your friends when you need them,and ignore them or whatsoever when you don't need themi dont do that! friend, i'm not some sort of social reject who's only calling up one friend. i have to go out with other friends, call up other friends, and well, do some other stuff! i'm just not too used to sticking with one group. i'm sorry, and sorry again, cause you cant change the way i am. if you feel that i am neglecting you, tell me personally(dont post it at your blog, please) and i'll try to change! i can change by taking note of it, but if you want me to just stick going out with one group, i cant do that. sorry. going out with you all regularly is one thing, but ONLY going out with you all is another.
We are your friends, not people you hire to accompany you!i never ever said that. and i've always treated you all as friends. i dont have to call you all, but i want to! i can call some other people, its not like they'll put down the phone on me. but i do want to call you all! i cherish you all as friends, but i just dont express it that well.
It's ridiculous! I myself have been hurt by this "quality" in you so many times.i'm sorry if you are, but if just because i cant make it to some place with you all a couple of times and you're upset, well then i've got nothing to say. well okay maybe something. i'll try my best to make it the next time. but sometimes, i have to back out cause i really cant make it! i dont want to explain it over here. its far too stupid.
Ever since I started knowing you, it's been this way. I'll leave you to think about this one.i've been hurt by you too. and no matter how hard i think, i cant think of any examples of how i've let you down so hard. and... sometimes you're not the only one feeling this way.
I do not know how you will feel towards this post ..I may be wrong about some things.. I don't know.I say sorry in advance. But these are things that I hope you can know of.I hope you think about them, cos I treat you as a friend.I just want you to be well, that's all.i really dont know how to feel towards your post. but i have to say, partially touched. hey, thats good okay. (: well, you're certainly wrong abt some matters. but its not your fault. you just dont really understand me. and trust me, not a lot of people do. well, i accept your apology. and thanks for treating me as a friend. i want the best for you too. yes, i'm thinking of them. and yes, i treat you as a friend too.
okay, that part was only meant for a certain person, haha. :D but now i shall get on with my life. okay, should i wear my floral vintagy dress i bought in zara for dinner tonight or that black cute dress i bought in gap? its really cute, i swear. i'm not really sure which dress should i wear. i would have taken a pic and shown it to you people, but its in my mom's room. well, i was thinking of that floral vintagy dress. its really vintagy, and i'm more in vintage nowadays. its so cute, i swear. haha. :D so yes.
the black cute dress is really nice! the moment i set eyes on it, i fell in love with it. let me think, when did i buy it. just recently. i dint shop for my stuff today cause i wanna use the com while my bro isnt in. :D woots! i love it when he's out. haha. (: no one to fight with me over the com. :D haha. well yes. i'm still thinking really hard. well... WHAT DO YOU SAY PEOPLE? oh, i hear the floral dress! oh, someone disagrees over there, BLACK DRESS? who will eventually win? tune in to the next epi-
STUPID, there's no next episode! the dinner's tonight, loser! and QUIT TALKING TO YOURSELF! in singapore, or any other part in this world, we call it wierd.
ok, so i'll take the floral dress. AND THE VERDICT'S OUT! the winner is.. uh... weiyi. sorry, the other weiyi twin, try harder next time. (:
i love talking to myself, i swear. :D wow, this is a long post! oh gosh, i've still got chi tuition work to do! ): i'll do it tmr lar. sian, school starts on wed. thats like, 2 days later. but its alright, i can still look forward to chinese new year! thats fun, cause i get to buy more clothes! ooh, i love shopping. :D
should i change my blogskin. i'll change it lar. NEW YEAR, NEW BLOGSKIN! it totally makes sense. hey, i'm good! (:
well people, as much as i hate to disappoint you, i'll go now. i'll watch the 2 dvds my pal, rei lend me. haha. :D byee!
super hot female.
Sophie Kinsella(Shopaholic series)
Go crazy.